Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of quesswork.
That's what's cool about working with computers. They don't argue, they remember everything, and they don't drink all your beer.
The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim.
It's ridiculous to live 100 years and only be able to remember 30 million bytes. You know , less than a compact disc. The human condition is really becoming more obsolete every minute.
Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
The Internet ? Is that thing still around ?
The Web is like a dominatrix. Everywhere I turn, I see little buttons ordering me to Submit.
We are Microsoft. Resistance is futile. You will be Assimilated.
The function of good software is to make the complex appear to be simple.
Any fool can use a computer/ Many do.
There are only two industries that refer to their customers as "users" .
The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it's too late.
That's the thing about people who think they hate computers. What they really hate is lousy programmers.
Computer science education cannot make anybody an expert programmer any more than studying brushes and pigment can make somebody an expert painter.
Don't worry if it doesn't work right. If everything did , you'd be out of a job.
First learn computer science and all the theory. Next develop a programming style. Then forget all that and just hack.
First, solve the problem. Then, write the code.
Optimism is an occupational hazard of programming; feedback is the treatment.
The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.
I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn't show up in a Unix directory listing.
Fifty years of programming language research, and we end up with C++?
Writing in C or C++ is like running a chain saw with all the safety guards removed.
Sayings that Jave is nice because it works on all OSes is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders .
Software is like sex: It's better when it's free.
Good programmers use their brains, but good guidelines save us having to think out every case.
Programming is like a sex: one mistake and you're providing support for a lifetime.
There are two ways to write error-free programs ; only the third one works.
